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97. His lordship, when he was newly made lord keeper, was in Gray's Inn walks with Sir Walter Raleigh; one came and told him, that the earl of Exeter was above. He continued upon occasion still walking a good while. At last when he came up, my lord of Exeter met him, and said; My lord, I have made a great venture, to come up so high stairs, being a gouty man." His lordship answered; "Pardon me, my lord, I have made the greatest venture of all; for I have ventured upon your patience."

98. When Sir Francis Bacon was made the king's attorney, Sir Edward Coke was put up from being Lord Chief Justice of the common pleas, to be Lord Chief Justice of the king's bench; which is a place of greater honour, but of less profit; and withal was made privy counsellor. After a few days, the lord Coke meeting with the king's attorney, said unto him; Mr. Attorney, this is all your doing it is you that have made this stir. Mr. Attorney answered; "Ah! my lord, your lordship all this while hath grown in breadth; you must needs now grow in height, or else you would be a monster.”

99. One day queen Elizabeth told Mr. Bacon, that my lord of Essex, after great protestation of penitence and affection, fell in the end but upon the suit of renewing of his farm of sweet wines. He answered; "I read that in nature there be two kinds of motions or appetites in sympathy; the one as of iron to the adamant, for perfection; the other as of the vine to the stake, for sustentation; that her majesty was the one, and his suit the other."

100. Mr. Bacon, after he had been vehement in parliament against depopulation and enclosures; and that soon after the queen told him that she had referred the hearing of Mr. Mill's cause to certain counsellors and judges; and asked him how he liked of it? answered, "Oh, Madam, my mind is known; I am against all enclosures, and especially against enclosed justice."

101. When Sir Nicholas Bacon the lord keeper lived, every room in Gorhambury was served with a pipe of water from the ponds, distant about a mile off. In the life-time of Mr. Anthony Bacon, the water ceased. After whose death, his lordship coming to the inheritance, could not recover the water without infinite charge: when he was lord chancellor, he built Verulam house, close by the pond-yard, for a place of privacy when he was called upon to despatch any urgent business. And being asked, why he built that house there; his lordship answered, "that since he could not carry the water to his house, he would carry his house to the water."

102. When my lord president of the council came first to be lord treasurer, he complained to my lord chancellor of the troublesomeness of the place; for that the exchequer was so empty; the lord chancellor answered, "My lord, be of good cheer, for now you shall see the bottom of your business at the first."

103. When his lordship was newly advanced to the great seal, Gondomar came to visit him. My lord said, that he was to thank God and the king for that honour; but yet, so he might be rid of the burden, he could very willingly forbear the honour; and that he formerly had a desire, and the same continued with him still, to lead a private life. Gondomar answered, that he would tell him a tale of an old rat, that would needs leave the world, and acquainted the young rats that he would retire into his hole, and spend his days solitarily; and would enjoy no more comfort; and commanded them upon his high displeasure, not to offer to come in unto him. They forbore two or three days; at last, one that was more hardy than the rest, incited some of his fellows to go in with him, and he would venture to see how his father did; for he might be dead. They went in, and found the old rat sitting in the midst of a rich Parmesan cheese. So he applied the fable after his witty manner.

104. Rabelais tells a tale of one that was very fortunate in compounding differences. His son undertook the said course, but could never compound any. Whereupon he came to his father, and asked him; what art he had to reconcile differences? He answered; "he had no other but this: to watch when the two parties were much wearied, and their hearts were too great to seek reconcilement at one another's hands; then to be a means betwixt them, and upon no other terms." After which the son went home, and prospered in the same undertakings.

105. Alonso Cartilio was informed by his steward of the greatness of his expense, being such as he could not hold out therewith. The bishop asked him, wherein it chiefly arose ? His steward told him, in the multitude of his servants. The bishop bade him to make him a note of those that were necessary, and those that might be spared. Which he did. And the bishop taking occasion to read it before most of his servants, said to his steward, "Well, let these remain because I have need of them; and these other also because they have need of me."

106. Mr. Marbury the preacher would say, "that God was fain to do with wicked men, as men do with frisking jades in a pasture, that cannot take them up, till they get them at a gate. So wicked men will not be taken up till the hour of death."

107. Pope Sixtus the fifth, who was a very poor man's son, and his father's house ill thatched, so that the sun came in in many places, would sport with his ignobility, and say, “ that he was nato di casa illustre: son of an illustrious house."

108. When the king of Spain conquered Portugal, he gave special charge to his lieutenant, that the soldiers should not spoil, lest he should alienate the hearts of the people: the army also suffered much scarcity of victual. Whereupon the Spanish soldiers would afterwards say, "that they had won the king a kingdom on earth, as the kingdom of heaven used to be won by fasting and abstaining from that which is another man's."

109. They feigned a tale of Sixtus Quintus, whom they call Size-ace, that after his death he

went to hell, and the porter of hell said to him, "You have some reason to offer yourself to this place, because you were a wicked man; but yet, because you were a pope, I have order not to receive you: you have a place of your own, purgatory; you may go thither." So he went away, and sought about a great while for purgatory, and could find no such place. Upon that he took heart, and went to heaven, and knocked; and St. Peter asked, "Who was there?" He said, "Sixtus pope." Whereunto St. Peter said, "Why do you knock? you have the keys." Sixtus answered, "It is true; but it is so long since they were given, as I doubt the wards of the lock be altered."

110. Charles, king of Sweden, a great enemy of the Jesuits, when he took any of their colleges, he would hang the old Jesuits, and put the young to his mines, saying, "that since they wrought so hard above ground, he would try how they could work under ground."

111. In chancery, at one time when the counsel of the parties set forth the boundaries of the land in question by the plot; and the counsel of one part said, "We lie on this side, my lord ;" and the counsel of the other part said, “And we lie on this side:" the lord chancellor Hatton stood up and said; "If you lie on both sides, whom will you have me to believe?"

112. Sir Edward Coke was wont to say, when a great man came to dinner to him, and gave him no knowledge of his coming, "Sir, since you sent me no word of your coming, you must dine with me ; but if I had known of it in due time, I would have dined with you."

113. Pope Julius the third, when he was made pope, gave his hat unto a youth, a favourite of his, with great scandal. Whereupon, at one time, a cardinal that might be free with him, said modestly to him, "What did your holiness see in that young man, to make him cardinal ?" Julius answered, "What did you see in me to make me pope ?"

114. The same Julius upon like occasion of speech, Why he should bear so great affection to the same young man? would say, "that he found by astrology that it was the youth's destiny to be a great prelate; which was impossible except himself were pope. And therefore that he did raise him, as the driver on of his own fortune." 115. Sir Thomas More had only daughters at the first, and his wife did ever pray for a boy. At last she had a boy, which being come to man's estate, proved but simple. Sir Thomas said to his wife, "Thou prayedst so long for a boy, that he will be a boy as long as he lives."

116. Sir Fulk Grevil, afterwards Lord Brook, in parliament, when the house of commons, in a great business, stood much upon precedents, said unto them, "Why do you stand so much upon precedents? The times hereafter will be good or bad. If good, precedents will do no harm; if bad, power will make a way where it finds none.”

117. Sir Thomas More on the day that he was beheaded, had a barber sent to him, because his hair was long; which was thought would make him

more commiserated with the people. The barber came to him, and asked him, " Whether he would be pleased to be trimmed ?" "In good faith, honest fellow," saith Sir Thomas, "the king and I have a suit for my head; and till the title be cleared, I will do no cost upon it."

118. Stephen Gardiner, bishop of Winchester, a great champion of the popish religion, was wont to say of the protestants who ground upon the Scripture, "They were like posts, that bring truth in their letters, and lies in their mouths."

119. The former Sir Thomas More had sent him by a suitor in chancery two silver flagons. When they were presented by the gentleman's servant, he said to one of his men, “Have him to the cellar, and let him have of my best wine" and, turning to the servant, said, "Tell thy master, if he like it, let him not spare it."

120. Michael Angelo, the famous painter, painting in the pope's chapel the portraiture of hell and damned souls, made one of the damned souls so like a cardinal that was his enemy, as every body at first sight knew it. Whereupon the cardinal complained to pope Clement, humbly praying it might be defaced. The pope said to him, "Why, you know very well, I have power to deliver a soul out of purgatory, but not out of hell."

121. There was an agent here for the Dutch, called Carroon; and when he used to move the queen for farther succours and more men, my lord Henry Howard would say, "That he agreed well with the name of Charon, ferryman of hell; for he came still for more men, to increase regnum umbrarum."

122. They were wont to call referring to the masters in chancery, committing. My lord keeper Egerton, when he was master of the rolls, was wont to ask, "What the cause had done that it should be committed ?"

123. They feigned a tale, principally against doctors' reports in the chancery, that Sir Nicholas Bacon, when he came to heaven gate, was opposed, touching an unjust decree which had been made in the chancery. Sir Nicholas desired to see the order, whereupon the decree was drawn up; and finding it to begin, "Veneris," etc. "Why," saith he, "I was then sitting in the star-chamber; this concerns the master of the rolls; let him answer it." Soon after came the master of the rolls, Cordal, who died indeed a small time after Sir Nicholas Bacon; and he was likewise staid upon it; and looking into the order, he found that upon the reading of a certificate of Dr. Gibson, it was ordered that his report should be decreed. And so he put it upon Dr. Gibson, and there it stuck.

124. Sir Nicholas Bacon, when a certain nimblewitted counsellor at the bar, who was forward to speak, did interrupt him often, said unto him, "There is a great difference betwixt you and me: a pain to me to speak, and a pain to you to hold your peace."

125. The same Sir Nicholas Bacon, upon bills exhibited to discover where lands lay, upon proof that they had a certain quantity of land, but could

not set it forth, was wont to say; "And if you cannot find your land in the country, how will you have me find it in the chancery ?"

126. Mr. Howland, in conference with a young student, arguing a case, happened to say, "I would ask you but this question." The student presently interrupted him, to give him an answer. Whereunto Mr. Howland gravely said, "Nay, though I ask you a question, yet I did not mean you should answer me; I mean to answer myself."

127. Pope Adrian the sixth was talking with the duke of Sesa, "that Pasquil gave great scandal, and that he would have him thrown into the river:" but Sesa answered, “ Do it not, holy father, for then he will turn frog; and whereas now he chants but by day, he will then chant both by day and night."

128. There was a gentleman in Italy that wrote to a great friend of his, whom the pope had newly advanced to be cardinal, that he was very glad of his advancement, for the cardinal's own sake; but he was sorry that himself had lost a good friend.

129. There was a king of Hungary took a bishop in battle, and kept him prisoner: whereupon the pope writ a monitory to him, for that he had broken the privilege of holy church, and taken his son. The king sent an embassage to him, and sent withal the armour wherein the bishop was taken, and this only in writing, "Vide num hæc sit vestis filii tui:" "know now whether this be thy son's coat."

130. Sir Amyas Pawlet, when he saw too much | haste made in a matter, was wont to say, "Stay a while, that we may make an end the sooner.”

131. A master of the requests to queen Elizabeth had divers times moved for audience, and been put off. At last he came to the queen in a progress, and had on a new pair of boots. The queen, who loved not the smell of new leather, said to him, " Fy, sloven, thy new boots stink." "Madam," said he, "it is not my new boots that stink; but it is the stale bills that I have kept so long."

132. At an act of the commencement, the answerer gave for his question, that an aristocracy was better than a monarchy. The replier, who was a dissolute man, did tax him, that being a private bred man, he would give a question of state. The answerer said, that the replier did much wrong the privilege of scholars, who would be much straitened if they should give questions of nothing but such things wherein they are practised: and added, "We have heard yourself dispute of virtue, which no man will say you put much in practice."

133. Queen Isabella of Spain used to say, "Whosoever hath a good presence and a good fashion, carries continual letters of recommendation."

134. Alonso of Arragon was wont to say in commendation of age, "That age appeared to be best in four things: old wood best to burn; old wine to drink; old friends to trust; and old authors to read."

135. It was said of Augustus, and afterward the like was said of Septimius Severus, both which did infinite mischief in their beginnings, and infinite good toward their ends, "that they should either have never been born or never died."

136. Constantine the Great, in a kind of envy,

himself being a great builder, as Trajan likewise was, would call Trajan, Parietaria, wall-flower; because his name was upon so many walls.

137. Alonso of Arragon was wont to say of himself, “That he was a great necromancer, for that he used to ask counsel of the dead:" meaning of books.

138. Ethelwold, bishop of Winchester, in a famine, sold all the rich vessels and ornaments of the church, to relieve the poor with bread; and said, "there was no reason that the dead temples of God should be sumptuously furnished, and the living temples suffer penury."

139. Many men, especially such as affect gravity, have a manner after other men's speech to shake their heads. A great officer of this land would say, "It was as men shake a bottle, to see if there were any wit in their heads or no?"

140. After a great fight, there came to the camp of Consalvo the great captain, a gentleman proudly horsed and armed. Diego de Mendoza asked the great captain, "Who is this?" Who answered, "It is Saint Ermin, who never appears but after a storm."

141. There was one that died greatly in debt : when it was reported in some company, where divers of his creditors casually were, that he was dead, one began to say, "Well, if he be gone, then he hath carried five hundred ducats of mine with him into the other world;" and another said, “ And two hundred of mine;" and a third spake of great sums of his. Whereupon one that was amongst them said, "I perceive now, that though a man cannot carry any of his own with him into the next world, yet he may carry away that which is another man's."

142. Francis Carvajal, that was the great captain of the rebels of Peru, had often given the chase to Diego Centeno, a principal commander of the emperor's party: he was afterwards taken by the emperor's lieutenant Gasca, and committed to the custody of Diego Centeno, who used him with all possible courtesy; insomuch as Carvajal asked him, "I pray, Sir, who are you that use me with this courtesy ?" Centeno said, "Do not you know Diego Centeno ?" Carvajal answered, Truly, Sir, I used to see your back, as I knew not

have been so your face."

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143. There was a merchant died that was very far in debt; his goods and household stuff were set forth to sale. A stranger would needs buy a pillow there, saying, "This pillow sure is good to sleep upon, since he could sleep that owed so many debts."

144. A lover met his lady in a close chair, she thinking to have gone unknown, he came and spake to her. She asked him, "How did you know me ?" He said, "Because my wounds bleed afresh," alluding to the common tradition, that the wounds of a body slain will bleed afresh upon the approach of the murderer.

145. A gentleman brought music to his lady's window. She hated him, and had warned him often away; and when he would not desist, she threw stones at him. Whereupon a gentleman said unto him, that was in his company, "What greater

honour can you have to your music, than that stones come about you, as they did to Orpheus ?"

146. Coranus the Spaniard, at a table at dinner, fell into an extolling his own father, saying, “If he could have wished of God, he could not have chosen amongst men a better father." Sir Henry Savil said, "What, not Abraham ?" Now Coranus was doubted to descend of a race of Jews.

147. Bresquet, jester to Francis the first of France, did keep a calendar of fools, wherewith he did use to make the king sport; telling him ever the reason why he put any one into his calendar. When Charles the fifth, emperor, upon confidence of the noble nature of Francis, passed through France, for the appeasing of the rebellion of Gaunt, Bresquet put him into his calendar. The king asked him the cause. He answered, "Because you have suffered at the hands of Charles the greatest bitterness that ever prince did from another, nevertheless he would trust his person into your hands." Why, Bresquet," said the king, "what wilt thou say, if thou seest him pass back in as great safety, as if he marched through the midst of Spain ?" Saith Bresquet; "Why then I will put him out, and put in you."

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148. Archbishop Grindall was wont to say, "that the physicians here in England were not good at the cure of particular diseases; but had only the power of the church, to bind and loose."

149. Cosmus duke of Florence was wont to say of perfidious friends, "that we read, that we ought to forgive our enemies; but we do not read that we ought our friends."

150. A papist being opposed by a protestant, "that they had no Scripture for images," answered, "Yes; for you read that the people laid their sick in the streets, that the shadow of saint Peter might come upon them; and that a shadow was an image, and the obscurest of all images."

151. Sir Edward Dyer, a grave and wise gentleman, did much believe in Kelly the alchemist, that he did indeed the work, and did make gold; insomuch that he went into Germany, where Kelly then was, to inform himself fully thereof. After his return, he dined with my lord of Canterbury; where at that time was at the table Dr. Brown the physician. They fell in talk of Kelly. Sir Edward Dyer, turning to the archbishop, said; "I do assure your grace, that what I shall tell you is truth; I am an eye-witness thereof; and if I had not seen it, I should not have believed it. I saw Mr. Kelly put of the base metal into the crucible; and after it was set a little upon the fire, and a very small quantity of the medicine put in, and stirred with a stick of wood, it came forth in great proportion, perfect gold; to the touch, to the hammer, and to the test." My lord archbishop said; "You had need take heed what you say, Sir Edward Dyer, for here is an infiIdel at the board." Sir Edward Dyer said again pleasantly, "I should have looked for an infidel sooner in any place than at your grace's table." "What say you, Dr. Brown ?" said the archbishop. Dr. Brown answered, after his blunt and huddling manner; "The gentleman hath spoken enough for

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me." "Why," said the archbishop, "what hath he said ?" 66 Marry," saith Dr. Brown, "he said, he would not have believed it, except he had seen it; and no more will I."

152. Doctor Johnson said, that in sickness there were three things that were material; the physician, the disease, and the patient: and if any two of these joined, then they get the victory; for, "Ne Hercules quidem contra duos." If the physician and the patient join, then down goes the disease; for then the patient recovers: if the physician and the disease join, that is a strong disease; and the physician mistaking the cure, then down goes the patient: if the patient and the disease join, then down goes the physician; for he is discredited.

153. Mr. Bettenham said, that virtuous men were like some herbs and spices, that give not out their sweet smell, till they be broken or crushed.

154. There was a painter became a physician: whereupon one said to him; “You have done well; for before the faults of your work were seen, but now they are unseen."

155. There was a gentleman that came to the tilt all in orange-tawny, and ran very ill. The next day he came again all in green, and ran worse. There was one of the lookers on asked another; "What is the reason that this gentleman changeth his colours?" The other answered, "Sure, because it may be reported, that the gentleman in the green ran worse than the gentleman in the orange-tawny."

156. Zelim was the first of the Ottomans that did shave his beard, whereas his predecessors wore it long. One of his bashaws asked him, Why he altered the custom of his predecessors ? He answered, Because you bashaws may not lead me by the beard, as you did them."

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159. It was said amongst some of the grave prelates of the council of Trent, in which the schooldivines bare the sway; that the school-men were like the astronomers, who to save the phænomena, framed to their conceit eccentrics and epicycles, and a wonderful engine of orbs, though no such things were so they, to save the practice of the church, had devised a great number of strange positions.

160. Æneas Sylvius would say, that the christian faith and law, though it had not been confirmed by miracles, yet was worthy to be received for the honesty thereof.

161. Mr. Bacon would say, that it was in his business, as it is frequently in the ways: that the next way is commonly the foulest; and that if a