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Sertorius, when Metellus had brought the enemy somewhat low. He did also consummate the war against the fugitives, whom Crassus had before defeated in a great battle. So when Lucullus had had great and glorious victories against Mithridates and Tigranes; yet Pompey, by means his friends made, was sent to put an end to that war. Whereupon Lucullus taking indignation, as a disgrace offered to himself, said; "that Pompey was a carrion crow: when others had strucken down the bodies, then Pompey came and preyed upon them." 237. Antisthenes being asked of one what learning was most necessary for man's life? answered; "To unlearn that which is nought."

238. Alexander visited Diogenes in his tub; and when he asked him, what he would desire of him? Diogenes answered; "That you would stand a little aside, that the sun may come to me."

239. The same Diogenes, when mice came about him as he was eating, said; "I see, that even Diogenes nourisheth parasites."

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240. Hiero visited by Pythagoras, asked him, "of what condition he was ?" Pythagoras answered; "Sir, I know you have been at the Olympian games." "Yes," saith Hiero. Thither," saith Pythagoras, come some to win the prizes. Some come to sell their merchandise, because it is a kind of mart of all Greece. Some come to meet their friends, and to make merry; because of the great confluence of all sorts. Others come only to look I am one of them that come to look on." Meaning it, of philosophy, and the contemplative life.

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241. Heraclitus the obscure said; "The dry light is the best soul :" meaning, when the faculties intellectual are in vigour, not drenched, or, as it were, blooded by the affections.

242. One of the philosophers was asked; "what a wise man differed from a fool?" He answered, "Send them both naked to those that know them not, and you shall perceive."

243. There was a law made by the Romans against the bribery and extortion of the governors of provinces. Cicero saith in a speech of his to the people, "that he thought the provinces would petition to the state of Rome to have that law repealed. For," saith he, "before the governors did bribe and extort as much as was sufficient for themselves; but now they bribe and extort as much as may be enough not only for themselves, but for the judges, and jurors, and magistrates."

244. Aristippus, sailing in a tempest, showed signs of fear. One of the seamen said to him, in an insulting manner: "We that are plebeians are not troubled; you that are a philosopher are afraid." Aristippus answered; "That there is not the like wager upon it, for you to perish and for me."

245. There was an orator that defended a cause of Aristippus, and prevailed. Afterwards he asked Aristippus; "Now, in your distress, what did Socrates do you good?" Aristippus answered; Thus, in making that which you said of me to be true."

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reans; but there never were any Epicureans that turned to any other sect. Whereupon a philosopher that was of another sect, said; "The reason was plain, for that cocks may be made capons, but capons could never be made cocks."

247. Chilon would say, "That gold was tried with the touchstone, and men with gold."

248. Simonides being asked of Hiero, "what he thought of God?" asked a seven-night's time to consider of it and at the seven-night's end he asked a fortnight's time; at the fortnight's end, a month. At which Hiero marvelling, Simonides answered; "that the longer he thought upon the matter, the more difficult he found it."

249. A Spaniard was censuring to a French gentleman the want of devotion amongst the French; in that, whereas in Spain, when the sacrament goes to the sick, any that meets with it, turns back and waits upon it to the house whither it goes; but in France they only do reverence, and pass by. But the French gentleman answered him, "There is reason for it; for here with us, Christ is secure amongst his friends; but in Spain there be so many Jews and Moranos, that it is not amiss for him to have a convoy."

250. Mr. Popham, afterwards lord chief justice Popham, when he was speaker, and the house of commons had set long, and done in effect nothing; coming one day to queen Elizabeth, she said to him; "Now, Mr. Speaker, what hath passed in the commons house ?" He answered, "If it please your majesty, seven weeks."

251. Themistocles in his lower fortune was in love with a young gentleman who scorned him; but when he grew to his greatness, which was soon after, he sought him: Themistocles said, "We are both grown wise, but too late."

252. Bion was sailing, and there fell out a great tempest; and the mariners, that were wicked and dissolute fellows, called upon the gods; but Bion said to them, "Peace, let them not know you are here."

253. The Turks made an expedition into Persia; and because of the strait jaws of the mountains of Armenia, the bashaws consulted which way they should get in. One that heard the debate said, "Here is much ado how you shall get in; but I hear nobody take care how you should get out."

254. Philip king of Macedon maintained arguments with a musician in points of his art, somewhat peremptorily; but the musician said to him, "God forbid, Sir, your fortune were so hard, that you should know these things better than myself."

255. Antalcidas, when an Athenian said to him, "Ye Spartans are unlearned;" said again, "True, for we have learned no evil nor vice of you."

256. Pace, the bitter fool, was not suffered to come at queen Elizabeth, because of his bitter humour. Yet at one time, some persuaded the queen that he should come to her; undertaking for him, that he should keep within compass: so he was brought to her, and the queen said; "Come on, Pace; now we shall hear of our faults." Saith Pace; "I do not use to talk of that that all the

246. There was an Epicurean vaunted, that divers of other sects of philosophers did after turn Epicu- | town talks of."

257. Bishop Latimer said, in a sermon at court, "That he heard great speech that the king was poor; and many ways were propounded to make him rich for his part he had thought of one way, which was, that they should help the king to some good office, for all his officers were rich."

258. After the defeat of Cyrus the younger, Falinus was sent by the king to the Grecians, who had for their part rather victory than otherwise, to command them to yield their arms: which when it was denied, Falinus said to Clearchus; "Well then, the king lets you know, that if you remove from the place where you are now encamped, it is war: if you stay, it is truce. What shall I say you will do ?" Clearchus answered, "It pleaseth us, as it pleaseth the king." "How is that ?" saith Falinus. Saith Clearchus, "If we remove, war: if we stay, truce:" and so would not disclose his purpose.

259. Alcibiades came to Pericles, and stayed a while ere he was admitted. When he came in, Pericles civilly excused it, and said: "I was studying how to give mine account." But Alcibiades said to him," If you will be ruled by me, study rather how to give no account."

260. Mendoza that was viceroy of Peru, was wont to say, "That the government of Peru was the best place that the king of Spain gave, save that it was somewhat too near Madrid."

261. When Vespasian passed from Jewry to take upon him the empire, he went by Alexandria, where remained two famous philosophers, Apollonius and Euphrates. The emperor heard the discourse, touching matter of state, in the presence of many. And when he was weary of them, he brake off, and in a secret derision, finding their discourses but speculative, and not to be put in practice, said; "O that I might govern wise men, and wise men govern me."

262. Cardinal Ximenes, upon a muster, which was taken against the Moors, was spoken to by a servant of his to stand a little out of the smoke of the harquebuss; but he said again," that that was his incense."

263. Nero was wont to say of his master Seneca, "That his style was like mortar without lime."

264. Augustus Cæsar, out of great indignation against his two daughters, and Posthumus Agrippa, his grandchild; whereof the two first were infamous, and the last otherwise unworthy; would say, "That they were not his seed, but some imposthumes that had broken from him."

265. A seaman coming before the judges of the admiralty for admittance into an office of a ship bound for the Indies, was by one of the judges much slighted, as an insufficient person for that office he sought to obtain; the judge telling him, " that he believed he could not say the points of his compass." The seaman answered; "that he could say them, under favour, better than he could say his Paternoster." The judge replied; "that he would wager twenty shillings with him upon that." The seaman taking him up, it came to trial: and the seaman began, and said all the points of his compass very exactly the judge likewise said his Pater-noster;

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and when he had finished it, he required the wager according to agreement; because the seaman was to say his compass better than he his Pater-noster, which he had not performed. "Nay, I pray, Sir, hold," quoth the seaman, "the wager is not finished; for I have but half done:" and so he immediately said his compass backward very exactly; which the judge failing of in his Pater-noster, the seaman carried away the prize.

266. There was a conspiracy, against the emperor Claudius by Scribonianus, examined in the senate; where Claudius sat in his chair, and one of his freed servants stood at the back of his chair. In the examination, that freed servant, who had much power with Claudius, very saucily, had almost all the words: and amongst other things, he asked in scorn one of the examinates, who was likewise a freed servant of Scribonianus; "I pray, Sir, if Scribonianus had been emperor, what would you have done?" He answered; "I would have stood behind his chair and held my peace."

267. One was saying that his great grandfather, and grandfather, and father, died at sea: said another that heard him, " And I were as you, I would never come at sea." "Why," saith he, "where did your great grandfather, and grandfather, and father die ?" He answered; "Where but in their beds ?" He answered; "And I were as you, I would never come in bed."

268. There was a dispute, whether great heads or little heads had the better wit? And one said, "It must needs be the little: for that it is a maxim, 'Omne majus continet in se minus.'"

269. Sir Thomas More, when the counsel of the party pressed him for a longer day to perform the decree, said; "Take Saint Barnaby's day, which is the longest day in the year." Now Saint Barnaby's day was within few days following.

270. One of the fathers saith, "That there is but this difference between the death of old men and young men; that old men go to death, and death comes to young men."

271. Cassius, after the defeat of Crassus by the Parthians, whose weapons were chiefly arrows, filed to the city of Charras, where he durst not stay any time, doubting to be pursued and besieged; he had with him an astrologer, who said to him, “Sir, I would not have you go hence, while the moon is in the sign of Scorpio." Cassius answered, “I am more afraid of that of Sagittarius."

272. Jason the Thessalian was wont to say, "that some things must be done unjustly, that many things may be done justly."

273. Demetrius king of Macedon would at times retire himself from business, and give himself wholly to pleasures. One of those his retirings, giving out that he was sick, his father Antigonus came on the sudden to visit him; and met a fair dainty youth coming out of his chamber. When Antigonus came in, Demetrius said; " Sir, the fever left me right now." Antigonus replied, "I think it was he that I met at the door."

274. Cato Major would say, "That wise men learned more by fools, than fools by wise men.”

275. When it was said to Anaxagoras; "The Athenians have condemned you to die;" he said again, "And nature them."

276. Alexander, when his father wished him to run for the prize of the race at the Olympian games, for he was very swift, answered; " He would, if he might run with kings."

277. Antigonus used often to go disguised, and to listen at the tents of his soldiers; and at a time heard some that spoke very ill of him. Whereupon he opened the tent a little, and said to them; " If you would speak ill of me, you should go a little farther off."

278. Aristippus said; "That those that studied particular sciences, and neglected philosophy, were like Penelope's wooers, that made love to the waiting woman."

279. The ambassadors of Asia Minor came to Antonius, after he had imposed upon them a double tax, and said plainly to him; "That if he would have two tributes in one year, he must give them two seed-times and two harvests."

280. An orator of Athens said to Demosthenes; "The Athenians will kill you if they wax mad." Demosthenes replied, " And they will kill you if they be in good sense.”

281. Epictetus used to say; "That one of the vulgar, in any ill that happens to him, blames others; a novice in philosophy blames himself; and a philosopher blames neither the one nor the other."

282. Cæsar in his book that he made against Cato, which is lost, did write, to show the force of opinion and reverence of a man that had once obtained a popular reputation; "There were some that found Cato drunk, and were ashamed instead of Cato."

283. There was a nobleman said of a great counsellor," that he would have made the worst farrier in the world; for he never shod horse but he cloyed him: for he never commended any man to the king for service, or upon occasion of suit, or otherwise, but that he would come in, in the end, with a but, and drive in a nail to his disadvantage."

284. Diogenes called an ill physician, Cock. "Why?" saith he. Diogenes answered; "Because when you crow, men use to rise."

285. There was a gentleman fell very sick, and a friend of his said to him; "Surely, you are in danger; I pray send for a physician." But the sick man answered; "It is no matter, for if I die, I will die at leisure."

286. Cato the elder, what time many of the Romans had statues erected in their honour, was asked by one in a kind of wonder, "Why he had none ?" He answered," He had much rather men should ask and wonder why he had no statue, than why he had a statue."

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287. A certain friend of Sir Thomas More's, taking great pains about a book, which he intended to publish, being well conceited of his own wit, which no man else thought worthy of commendation, brought it to Sir Thomas More to peruse it, and pass his judgment upon it; which he did: and finding nothing therein worthy the press, he said to him with a grave countenance; "That if it were in verse it would be more worthy." Upon which words, he went immediately and turned it into verse and then brought it to Sir Thomas again; who looking thereon, said soberly; "Yes, marry, now it is somewhat, for now it is rhyme; whereas before it was neither rhyme nor reason."

288. Sir Henry Wotton used to say, "That critics were like brushers of noblemen's clothes."

289. Hannibal said of Fabius Maximus, and of Marcellus, whereof the former waited upon him, that he could make no progress, and the latter had many sharp fights with him; "that he feared Fabius like a tutor, and Marcellus like an enemy."

290. When king Edward the second was amongst his torturers, who hurried him to and fro, that no man should know where he was, they set him down upon a bank: and one time, the more to disguise his face, shaved him, and washed him with cold water of a ditch by: the king said; "Well, yet I will have warm water for my beard:" and so shed abundance of tears.

291. One of the Seven was wont to say; "That laws were like cobwebs; where the small flies were caught, and the great brake through."

292. Lewis the eleventh of France, having much abated the greatness and power of the peers, nobility, and court of parliament, would say, "That he had brought the crown out of ward."

293. There was a cowardly Spanish soldier, that in a defeat the Moors gave, ran away with the foremost. Afterwards, when the army generally fled, the soldier was missing. Whereupon it was said by some that he was slain. "No sure," said one, "he is alive; for the Moors eat no hare's flesh." 294. A gentleman that was punctual of his word, and loved the same in others, when he heard that two persons had agreed upon a meeting about serious affairs, at a certain time and place; and that the one party failed in the performance, or neglected his hour; would usually say of him, He is a young man then."

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295. Anacharsis would say, concerning the popular estates of Græcia, that "he wondered how at Athens wise men did propose, and fools dispose."

His lordship, when he had finished this collection of Apophthegms, concluded thus: Come, now all is well: they say he is not a wise man that will lose his friend for his wit; but he is less a wise man that will lose his friend for another man's wit.

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APOPHTHEGMS,

CONTAINED IN THE ORIGINAL EDITION IN OCTAVO, BUT OMITTED IN LATER COPIES.

1. WHEN queen Elizabeth had advanced Raleigh, | words spoken against the king. He confessed them, she was one day playing on the virginals, and my and said; "It is true, I spake them, and if the lord of Oxford and another nobleman stood by. It wine had not failed, I had said much more." fell out so, that the ledge before the jacks was 110. Trajan would say, "That the king's exchetaken away, so as the jacks were seen: my lord of quer was like the spleen; for when that did swell, Oxford and the other nobleman smiled, and a little the whole body did pine." whispered. The queen marked it, and would needs know what the matter was? My lord of Oxford answered; "That they smiled to see that when jacks went up, heads went down."

22. Sir Thomas More, who was a man, in all his life-time, that had an excellent vein in jesting, at the very instant of his death, having a pretty long beard, after his head was upon the block, lift it up again, and gently drew his beard aside, and said; "This hath not offended the king."

27. Demonax the philosopher, when he died, was asked touching his burial. He answered, "Never take care for burying me, for stink will bury me." He that asked him, said again; "Why, would you have your body left to the dogs and ravens to feed upon ?" Demonax answered; "Why, what great hurt is it, if having sought to do good, when I lived, to men; my body do some good to beasts, when I am dead."

30. Phocion the Athenian, a man of great severity, and no ways flexible to the will of the people, one day, when he spake to the people, in one part of his speech, was applauded: whereupon he turned to one of his friends, and asked, "What have I said amiss?"

34. Bion was wont to say; "That Socrates, of all the lovers of Alcibiades, only held him by the ears." 37. There was a philosopher about Tiberius, that looking into the nature of Caius, said of him; "that he was mire mingled with blood."

42. There was a bishop that was somewhat a delicate person, and bathed twice a day. A friend of his said to him; " My lord, why do you bathe twice a day?" The bishop answered; "Because I cannot conveniently bathe thrice."

89. When Sir Thomas More was lord chancellor, he did use, at mass, to sit in the chancel; and his lady in a pew. And because the pew stood out of sight, his gentleman-usher, ever after service, came to the lady's pew, and said, "Madam, my lord is gone." So when the chancellor's place was taken from him, the next time they went to church, Sir Thomas himself came to his lady's pew, and said; "Madam, my lord is gone."

104. A Grecian captain advising the confederates that were united against the Lacedæmonians, touching their enterprise, gave opinion, that they should go directly upon Sparta, saying; "That the state of Sparta was like rivers; strong when they had run a great way, and weak towards their head."

108. One was examined upon certain scandalous

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111. Charles the Bald allowed one, whose name was Scottus, to sit at the table with him, for his pleasure: Scottus sat on the other side of the table. One time the king being merry with him, said to him; "What is there between Scott and sot?" Scottus answered; "The table only."

113. There was a marriage between a widow of great wealth, and a gentleman of a great house, that had no estate or means. Jack Roberts said, "That marriage was like a black pudding; the one brought blood, and the other brought suet and oatmeal."

149. Croesus said to Cambyses, "That peace was better than war; because in peace the sons did bury their fathers, but in the wars the fathers did bury their sons."

154. Carvajal, when he was drawn to execution, being fourscore and five years old, and laid upon the hurdle, said, "What! young in cradle, old in cradle !"

161. Diogenes was asked in a kind of scorn, "What was the matter, that philosophers haunted rich men, and not rich men philosophers?" He answered, "Because the one knew what they wanted, the other did not."

162. Demetrius, king of Macedon, had a petition offered him divers times by an old woman, and still answered," He had no leisure." Whereupon the woman said aloud, Why then give over to be king."

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175. There were two gentlemen, otherwise of equal degree, save that the one was of the ancienter house. The other in courtesy asked his hand to kiss: which he gave him; and he kissed it: but said withal, to right himself by way of friendship, "Well, I and you, against any two of them :" putting himself first.

198. Themistocles would say of himself, "That he was like a plane tree, that in tempests men fled to him, and in fair weather men were ever cropping his leaves."

199. Themistocles said of speech," That it was like arras, that spread abroad shows fair images, but contracted is but like packs."

211. Lycurgus would say of divers of the heroes of the heathen, "That he wondered that men should mourn upon their days for them as mortal men, and yet sacrifice to them as gods."

213. There is an ecclesiastical writer of the papists, to prove antiquity of confession in the form that it now is, doth note, in very ancient times, even

in the primitive times, amongst other foul slanders spread against the christians, one was, "That they did adore the genitories of their priests. Which, he saith, grew, from the posture of the confessant, and the priest in confession: which is, that the confessant kneels down, before the priest sitting in a raised chair above him."

216. Fabricius, in conference with Pyrrhus, was tempted to revolt to him; Pyrrhus telling him, that he should be partner of his fortunes, and second person to him. But Fabricius answered, in a scorn, to such a motion, "Sir, that would not be good for yourself: for if the Epirotes once knew me, they will rather desire to be governed by me than by you." 221. Thales said; "that life and death were all one." One that was present asked him; "Why do not you die then?" Thales said again; "Because they are all one."

223. An Ægyptian priest, having conference with Solon, said to him; "You Grecians are ever children; you have no knowledge of antiquity, nor antiquity of knowledge."

227. Diogenes was one day in the market-place with a candle in his hand; and being asked, “What he sought ?" he said, "He sought a man."

228. Bias being asked; How a man should order his life? answered; "As if a man should live long, or die quickly."

229. Queen Elizabeth was entertained by my lord Burleigh at Theobalds: and at her going away, my lord obtained of the queen to make seven knights. They were gentlemen of the country, of my lord's friends and neighbours. They were placed in a rank, as the queen should pass by the hall, and to win antiquity of knighthood, in order, as my lord favoured; though indeed the more principal gentlemen were placed lowest. The queen was told of it, and said nothing; but when she went along, she passed them all by, as far as the skreen, as if she had forgot it: and when she came to the skreen, she seemed to take herself with the manner, and said, "I had almost forgot what I promised." With that she turned back, and knighted the lowest first, and so upward. Whereupon Mr. Stanhope, of the privychamber, a while after told her; "Your majesty was too fine for my lord Burleigh." She answered; "I have but fulfilled the Scripture; 'the first shall be last, and the last first." "

235. Sir Fulke Grevill had much and private access to queen Elizabeth, which he used honourably, and did many men good; yet he would say merrily of himself, "That he was like Robin Goodfellow; for when the maids spilt the milkpans, or kept any racket, they would lay it upon Robin: so what tales the ladies about the queen told her, or other bad offices that they did, they would put it upon him.” 240. There was a politic sermon, that had no divinity in it, preached before the king. The king, as he came forth, said to bishop Andrews; "Call you this a sermon ?" The bishop answered, “And it please your majesty, by a charitable construction, it may be a sermon.”

244. Henry Noel would say, "That courtiers were like fasting-days; they were next the holy-days, but in themselves they were the most meagre days of the week."

247. Cato said, "The best way to keep good acts in memory, was to refresh them with new."

259. Aristippus said, "He took money of his friends, not so much to use it himself, as to teach them how to bestow their money."

260. A strumpet said to Aristippus, "That she was with child by him :" he answered, "You know that no more than if you went through a hedge of thorns, you could say, This thorn pricked me."

263. Democritus said, "That truth did lie in profound pits, and when it was got, it needed much refining."

266. Diogenes said of a young man that danced daintily, and was much commended: "The better, the worse."

271. There was a nobleman that was lean of visage, but immediately after his marriage he grew pretty plump and fat. One said to him, "Your lordship doth contrary to other married men; for they at the first wax lean, and you wax fat." Sir Walter Raleigh stood by, and said; Why, there is no beast, that if you take him from the common, and put him into the several, but he will wax fat."

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272. Diogenes seeing one, that was a bastard, casting stones among the people, bad him "take heed that he hit not his father."

275. It was said by many concerning the canons of the council of Trent, "That we are beholden to Aristotle for many articles of our faith."

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