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63. Iphicrates the Athenian, in a treaty that he had with the Lacedæmonians for peace, in which question was about security for observing the same, said, "The Athenians would not accept of any security, except the Lacedæmonians did yield up unto them those things, whereby it might be manifest, that they could not hurt them if they would." 64. Euripides would say of persons that were beautiful, and yet in some years, "In fairest bodies not only the spring is pleasant, but also the autumn.” 65. There was a captain sent to an exploit by his general with forces that were not likely to achieve the enterprise; the captain said to him, "Sir, appoint but half so many." "Why?" saith the general. The captain answered, "Because it is better fewer die than more."

66. There was a harbinger who had lodged a gentleman in a very ill room, who expostulated with him somewhat rudely; but the harbinger carelessly said; "You will take pleasure in it when you are out of it."

67. There is a Spanish adage, "Love without end hath no end:" meaning, that if it were begun not upon particular ends it would last.

68. A woman being suspected by her husband for dishonesty, and being by him at last pressed very hard about it, made him quick answer with many protestations," that she knew no more of what he said than the man in the moon." Now the captain of the ship called the Moon was the very man she so much loved.

69. Demosthenes when he fled from the battle, and that it was reproached to him, said, "that he that flies might fight again."

70. Gonsalvo would say, "The honour of a soldier ought to be of a strong web;" meaning, that it should not be so fine and curious, that every little disgrace should catch and stick in it.

71. An apprentice of London being brought before the chamberlain by his master for the sin of incontinency, even with his own mistress, the chamberlain thereupon gave him many christian exhortations; and at last he mentioned and pressed the chastity of Joseph, when his mistress tempted him with the like crime of incontinency. Ay, Sir," said the apprentice; "but if Joseph's mistress had been as handsome as mine is, he could not have forborne."

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72. Bias gave in precept, "Love as if you should hereafter hate; and hate as if you should hereafter love."

73. Cineas was an excellent orator and statesman, and principal friend and counsellor to Pyrrhus; and

74. Lamia the courtezan had all power with Demetrius king of Macedon, and by her instigations he did many unjust and cruel acts; whereupon Lysimachus said, "that it was the first time that ever he knew a whore play in a tragedy."

75. One of the Romans said to his friend, "What think you of one who was taken in the act and manner of adultery ?" The other answered, "Marry, I think he was slow at despatch."

76. Epaminondas, when his great friend and colleague in war was suitor to him to pardon an offender, denied him; afterwards, when a concubine of his made the same suit, he granted it to her; which when Pelopidas seemed to take unkindly, he said, "Such suits are to be granted to whores, but not to personages of worth."

77. Thales being asked when a man should marry, said; "Young men not yet, old men not at all."

78. A company of scholars going together to catch conies, carried one scholar with them, which had not much more wit than he was born with; and to him they gave in charge, that if he saw any, he should be silent, for fear of scaring them. But he no sooner espied a company of rabbits, before the rest, but he cried aloud, "Ecce multi cuniculi," which in English signifies, "Behold many conies;" which he had no sooner said, but the conies ran to their burrows: and he being checked by them for it, answered, "Who the devil would have thought that the rabbits understood Latin?”

79. A Welchman being at a sessions-house, and seeing the prisoners hold up hands at the bar, related to some of his acquaintance there, "that the judges were good fortune-tellers; for if they did but look upon their hands, they could certainly tell whether they should live or die."

80. Solon compared the people unto the sea, and orators and counsellors to the winds: for that the sea would be calm and quiet, if the winds did not trouble it.

81. Socrates was pronounced by the oracle of Delphos to be the wisest man of Greece, which he would put from himself ironically, saying, "there would be nothing in him to verify the oracle, except this; that he was not wise, and knew it; and others were not wise, and knew it not."

82. Socrates, when there was showed him the book of Heraclitus the obscure, and was asked his opinion of it, answered; "Those things which I understood were excellent, I imagine so were those

83. Bion asked an envious man that was very sad," what harm had befallen unto him, or what good had befallen unto another man ?"

84. Stilpo the philosopher, when the people flocked about him, and that one said to him, "The people come wondering about you as if it were to see some strange beast!" "No," saith he, "it is to see a man which Diogenes sought with his lanthorn at noon-day."

85. A man being very jealous of his wife, insomuch that which way soever she went, he would be prying at her heels; and she being so grieved thereat, in plain terms told him, "that if he did not for the future leave off his proceedings in that nature she would graft such a pair of horns upon his head, that should hinder him from coming out of any door in the house."

86. A citizen of London passing the streets very hastily, came at last where some stop was made by carts; and some gentlemen talking together, who knew him where being in some passion that he could not suddenly pass, one of them in this wise spoke unto him; "that others had passed by, and there was room enough, only they could not tell whether their horns were so wide as his."

87. A tinker passing Cheapside with his usual tone," Have you any work for a tinker?" an apprentice standing at a door opposite to a pillory there set up, called the tinker, with an intent to put a jest upon him, and told him, " that he should do very well if he would stop those two holes in the pillory;" to which the tinker answered, "that if he would put in his head and ears a while in that pillory, he would bestow both brass and nails upon him to hold him in, and give him his labour into the bargain."

88. A young maid having married an old man, was observed on the day of marriage to be somewhat moody, as if she had eaten a dish of chums, which one of her bridemen observing, bid her be cheery; and told her moreover, "that an old horse would hold out as long, and as well as a young one, in travel." To which she answered, stroking down her belly with her hand, "But not in this road, Sir." 89. There was in Oxford a cowardly fellow that was a very good archer; he was abused grossly by another, and moaned himself to Sir Walter Raleigh, then a scholar, and asked his advice, what he should do to repair the wrong had been offered him; Raleigh answered, "Why, challenge him at a match of shooting."

90. Whitehead, a grave divine, was much esteemed by queen Elizabeth, but not preferred, because he was against the government of bishops; he was of a blunt stoical nature: he came one day to the queen, and the queen happened to say to him, "I like thee the better, Whitehead, because thou livest unmarried." He answered, "In troth, Madam, I like you the worse for the same cause." 91. Dr. Laud said, "that some hypocrites and seeming mortified men, that held down their heads like bulrushes, were like the little images that they

92. A nobleman of this nation, famously known for his mad tricks, on a time having taken physic, which he perceiving that it began well to work, called up his man to go for a chirurgeon presently, and to bring his instruments with him. The chirurgeon comes in all speed; to whom my lord related, that he found himself much addicted to women, and therefore it was his will, that the cause of it might be taken away, and therefore commanded him forthwith to prepare his instruments ready for to geld him so the chirurgeon forthwith prepares accordingly, and my lord told him that he would not see it done, and that therefore he should do his work the back way: so, both parties being contented, my lord makes ready, and holds up his a—; and when he perceives the chirurgeon very near him, he lets fly full in his face; which made the chirurgeon step back, but coming presently on again, "Hold, hold," saith my lord, "I will better consider of it, for I see the retentive faculty is very weak at the approach of such keen instruments."

93. There was a cursed page that his master whipt naked, and when he had been whipt, would not put on his clothes: and when his master bade him, said, "Take them you, for they are the hangman's fees."

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94. There was a lady of the west country, that gave great entertainment at her house to most of the gallant gentlemen thereabouts, and amongst others Sir Walter Raleigh was one. This lady, though otherwise a stately dame, was a notable good housewife; and in the morning betimes she called to one of her maids that looked to the swine, and asked, Are the pigs served?" Sir Walter Raleigh's chamber was fast by the lady's, so as he heard her: a little before dinner, the lady came down in great state into the great chamber, which was full of gentlemen: and as soon as Sir Walter Raleigh set eye upon her, " Madam," saith he," are the pigs served ?" The lady answered, "You know best whether you have had your breakfast."

95. There were fishermen drawing the river at Chelsea: Mr. Bacon came thither by chance in the afternoon, and offered to buy their draught: they were willing. He asked them what they would take? They asked thirty shillings. Mr. Bacon offered them ten. They refused it. Why then, saith Mr. Bacon, I will be only a looker on. They drew, and catched nothing. Saith Mr. Bacon, Are not you mad fellows now, that might have had an angel in your purse, to have made merry withal, and to have warmed you throughly, and now you must go home with nothing. Ay but, saith the fishermen, we had hope then to make a better gain of it. Saith Mr. Bacon, "Well, my master, then I will tell you, hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper."

96. A lady walking with Mr. Bacon in Gray's Inn walks, asked him, Whose that piece of ground lying next under the walls was? He answered, "Theirs." Then she asked him, If those fields

beyond the walks were theirs too? He answered, "Yes, Madam, those are ours, as you are ours, to look on, and no more."

97. His lordship, when he was newly made lord keeper, was in Gray's Inn walks with Sir Walter Raleigh; one came and told him, that the earl of Exeter was above. He continued upon occasion still walking a good while. At last when he came up, my lord of Exeter met him, and said; "My lord, I have made a great venture, to come up so high stairs, being a gouty man." His lordship answered; "Pardon me, my lord, I have made the greatest venture of all; for I have ventured upon your patience."

98. When Sir Francis Bacon was made the king's attorney, Sir Edward Coke was put up from being Lord Chief Justice of the common pleas, to be Lord Chief Justice of the king's bench; which is a place of greater honour, but of less profit; and withal was made privy counsellor. After a few days, the lord Coke meeting with the king's attorney, said unto him; Mr. Attorney, this is all your doing: it is you that have made this stir. Mr. Attorney answered; "Ah! my lord, your lordship all this while hath grown in breadth; you must needs now grow in height, or else you would be a monster."

99. One day queen Elizabeth told Mr. Bacon, that my lord of Essex, after great protestation of penitence and affection, fell in the end but upon the suit of renewing of his farm of sweet wines. He answered; "I read that in nature there be two kinds of motions or appetites in sympathy; the one as of iron to the adamant, for perfection; the other as of the vine to the stake, for sustentation; that her majesty was the one, and his suit the other."

100. Mr. Bacon, after he had been vehement in parliament against depopulation and enclosures; and that soon after the queen told him that she had referred the hearing of Mr. Mill's cause to certain counsellors and judges; and asked him how he liked of it? answered, "Oh, Madam, my mind is known; I am against all enclosures, and especially against enclosed justice."

101. When Sir Nicholas Bacon the lord keeper lived, every room in Gorhambury was served with a pipe of water from the ponds, distant about a mile off. In the life-time of Mr. Anthony Bacon, the water ceased. After whose death, his lordship coming to the inheritance, could not recover the water without infinite charge: when he was lord chancellor, he built Verulam house, close by the pond-yard, for a place of privacy when he was called upon to despatch any urgent business. And being asked, why he built that house there; his lordship answered, "that since he could not carry the water to his house, he would carry his house to the water."

102. When my lord president of the council came first to be lord treasurer, he complained to my lord chancellor of the troublesomeness of the place; for that the exchequer was so empty; the lord chancellor answered," My lord, be of good cheer, for now you shall see the bottom of your business at the first."

103. When his lordship was newly advanced to the great seal, Gondomar came to visit him. My lord said, that he was to thank God and the king for that honour; but yet, so he might be rid of the burden, he could very willingly forbear the honour; and that he formerly had a desire, and the same continued with him still, to lead a private life. Gondomar answered, that he would tell him a tale of an old rat, that would needs leave the world, and acquainted the young rats that he would retire into his hole, and spend his days solitarily; and would enjoy no more comfort; and commanded them upon his high displeasure, not to offer to come in unto him. They forbore two or three days; at last, one that was more hardy than the rest, incited some of his fellows to go in with him, and he would venture to see how his father did; for he might be dead. They went in, and found the old rat sitting in the midst of a rich Parmesan cheese. So he applied the fable after his witty manner.

104. Rabelais tells a tale of one that was very fortunate in compounding differences. His son undertook the said course, but could never compound any. Whereupon he came to his father, and asked him; what art he had to reconcile differences? He answered; "he had no other but this: to watch when the two parties were much wearied, and their hearts were too great to seek reconcilement at one another's hands; then to be a means betwixt them, and upon no other terms." After which the son went home, and prospered in the same undertakings.

105. Alonso Cartilio was informed by his steward of the greatness of his expense, being such as he could not hold out therewith. The bishop asked him, wherein it chiefly arose ? His steward told him, in the multitude of his servants. The bishop bade him to make him a note of those that were necessary, and those that might be spared. Which he did. And the bishop taking occasion to read it before most of his servants, said to his steward, "Well, let these remain because I have need of them; and these other also because they have need

of me."

106. Mr. Marbury the preacher would say, "that God was fain to do with wicked men, as men do with frisking jades in a pasture, that cannot take them up, till they get them at a gate. So wicked men will not be taken up till the hour of death."

107. Pope Sixtus the fifth, who was a very poor man's son, and his father's house ill thatched, so that the sun came in in many places, would sport with his ignobility, and say, "that he was nato di casa illustre: son of an illustrious house."

108. When the king of Spain conquered Portugal, he gave special charge to his lieutenant, that the soldiers should not spoil, lest he should alienate the hearts of the people: the army also suffered much scarcity of victual. Whereupon the Spanish soldiers would afterwards say, "that they had won the king a kingdom on earth, as the kingdom of heaven used to be won by fasting and abstaining from that which is another man's."

109. They feigned a tale of Sixtus Quintus, whom they call Size-ace, that after his death he

went to hell, and the porter of hell said to him, "You have some reason to offer yourself to this place, because you were a wicked man; but yet, because you were a pope, I have order not to receive you: you have a place of your own, purgatory; you may go thither." So he went away, and sought about a great while for purgatory, and could find no such place. Upon that he took heart, and went to heaven, and knocked; and St. Peter asked, "Who was there?" He said, "Sixtus pope." Where- | unto St. Peter said, "Why do you knock? you have the keys." Sixtus answered, "It is true; but it is so long since they were given, as I doubt the wards of the lock be altered."

110. Charles, king of Sweden, a great enemy of the Jesuits, when he took any of their colleges, he would hang the old Jesuits, and put the young to his mines, saying, "that since they wrought so hard above ground, he would try how they could work under ground."

111. In chancery, at one time when the counsel of the parties set forth the boundaries of the land in question by the plot; and the counsel of one part said, "We lie on this side, my lord;" and the counsel of the other part said, " And we lie on this side:" the lord chancellor Hatton stood up and said; "If you lie on both sides, whom will you have me to believe?"

112. Sir Edward Coke was wont to say, when a great man came to dinner to him, and gave him no knowledge of his coming," Sir, since you sent me no word of your coming, you must dine with me ; but if I had known of it in due time, I would have dined with you."

113. Pope Julius the third, when he was made pope, gave his hat unto a youth, a favourite of his, with great scandal. Whereupon, at one time, a cardinal that might be free with him, said modestly to him, "What did your holiness see in that young man, to make him cardinal ?" Julius answered, "What did you see in me to make me pope ?"

114. The same Julius upon like occasion of speech, Why he should bear so great affection to the same young man? would say, "that he found by astrology that it was the youth's destiny to be a great prelate; which was impossible except himself were pope. And therefore that he did raise him, as the driver on of his own fortune." 115. Sir Thomas More had only daughters at the first, and his wife did ever pray for a boy. At last she had a boy, which being come to man's estate, proved but simple. Sir Thomas said to his wife, "Thou prayedst so long for a boy, that he will be a boy as long as he lives."

116. Sir Fulk Grevil, afterwards Lord Brook, in parliament, when the house of commons, in a great business, stood much upon precedents, said unto them, "Why do you stand so much upon precedents ? The times hereafter will be good or bad. If good, precedents will do no harm; if bad, power will make a way where it finds none."

117. Sir Thomas More on the day that he was beheaded, had a barber sent to him, because his hair was long; which was thought would make him

more commiserated with the people. The barber came to him, and asked him, "Whether he would be pleased to be trimmed ?" "In good faith, honest fellow," saith Sir Thomas," the king and I have a suit for my head; and till the title be cleared, I will do no cost upon it."

118. Stephen Gardiner, bishop of Winchester, a great champion of the popish religion, was wont to say of the protestants who ground upon the Scripture, "They were like posts, that bring truth in their letters, and lies in their mouths."

119. The former Sir Thomas More had sent him by a suitor in chancery two silver flagons. When they were presented by the gentleman's servant, he said to one of his men," Have him to the cellar, and let him have of my best wine:" and, turning to the servant, said, "Tell thy master, if he like it, let him not spare it."

120. Michael Angelo, the famous painter, painting in the pope's chapel the portraiture of hell and damned souls, made one of the damned souls so like a cardinal that was his enemy, as every body at first sight knew it. Whereupon the cardinal complained to pope Clement, humbly praying it might be defaced. The pope said to him, "Why, you know very well, I have power to deliver a soul out of purgatory, but not out of hell."

121. There was an agent here for the Dutch, called Carroon; and when he used to move the queen for farther succours and more men, my lord Henry Howard would say, "That he agreed well with the name of Charon, ferryman of hell; for he came still for more men, to increase regnum umbrarum."

122. They were wont to call referring to the masters in chancery, committing. My lord keeper Egerton, when he was master of the rolls, was wont to ask, "What the cause had done that it should be committed ?"

123. They feigned a tale, principally against doctors' reports in the chancery, that Sir Nicholas Bacon, when he came to heaven gate, was opposed, touching an unjust decree which had been made in the chancery. Sir Nicholas desired to see the order, whereupon the decree was drawn up; and finding it to begin, " Veneris," etc. "Why," saith he, "I was then sitting in the star-chamber; this concerns the master of the rolls; let him answer it." Soon after came the master of the rolls, Cordal, who died indeed a small time after Sir Nicholas Bacon; and he was likewise staid upon it; and looking into the order, he found that upon the reading of a certificate of Dr. Gibson, it was ordered that his report should be decreed. And so he put it upon Dr. Gibson, and there it stuck.

124. Sir Nicholas Bacon, when a certain nimblewitted counsellor at the bar, who was forward to speak, did interrupt him often, said unto him, "There is a great difference betwixt you and me: a pain to me to speak, and a pain to you to hold your peace." 125. The same Sir Nicholas Bacon, upon bills exhibited to discover where lands lay, upon proof that they had a certain quantity of land, but could