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abundance of Intrigues, real, or feign'd: at which he Laughs aloud and often, not to fhew his Satisfaction, but his Teeth. She fhews him who is kept by fuch a Lord, who was lately disbanded by fuch a Knight, for granting Favours too indif fcreetly to fuch a Gentleman, who has lately been in the Country for two or three Months, upon extraordinary Occafions. To all which, he gives great Attention, that he may pass for a Man of good Intelligence in another Place. The Play being done, Sir John can do no less than to carry his Damfel to Philips's, and from thence to Supper at Locket's; and here, O Misfortune! he trefpaffes upon his ftint, and drinks a Pint to his fhare, that proves the fatal caufe of a Pimple, which the next Morning appears in his Face: Frighted by this extraordinary Symptom, he fends immediately for three of the moft famous Phyficians, who having held a Learned Confult upon the Matter, gravely conclude, that Sir John has a Pimple, and that his Blood is upon the Ferment Then enquiring into the cause of this Disorder, they find it to be Sir John's drinking two Glaffes more than ufual; Damn it, crys he, to drink a whole Pint at a Sitting! 'tis well 'tis no worfe well, I may thank my felf for it Hell and Furies, how it encreafes The Doctors comfort him up, prescribe him Gallons of Juleps and a fpare Diet, and having receiv'd their Fees, make a Scrape, and leave Sir John confin'd to his Chamber, till his Pimple has difappear'd. This Difafter was scarce well over, when another befell our unfortunate Beau; One day he put on a milk white Suit, defigning to fhew himself in it that Evening in the Park; and to do Sir John Juftice,

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he never exerted the Rightness of his Imagination fo much as he did upon the Trimming of it: But coming out of the Chocolate-Houfe, a fawcy impudent Chimney-fweeper daub'd his Coat,

and poor Sir John immediately went home and took his Bed upon't. He had all the Agonies of a Defpairing Sinner. Come, Knight, faid one of his Friends that happen'd to Vifit him, there's no harm I hope, prithee take Courage and get up. Good Heavens, my Coat! cry'd he.Why there's no danger, but it will recover and do well.-----Oh! that confounded Chimney-fweeper! Providence fent him to Vifit you for your Sins, Sir John. But what ill have I done, to draw fuch a Judgment upon me? I never committed Murder or Sacrilege in my Life, ------Why then fhould? So he ran on for above fix Hours; all this while his Friend endeavour'd to foften his Calamity to him, by reminding him of the Inconftancy of Human Affairs: But 'twas all in vain, he could not be perfwaded to Live, till the Scowrer had taken his Oath before a Juftice of Peace, that the Coat was not a Farthing the worfe; nay, this was not enough: The Taylor was fent for to confirm the Scowrer's Depofition; and the Woman of the House who faw him put it on in the Morning, swore likewise, As he hop'd to be Sav'd, that it was not in the leaft Injur'd, which reftor'd Sir John to his former Tranquility, to the great Satisfaction of all about him.

*Beaux can no more commend a Woman's Wit, than a Man's Perfon; and compliment a Lady's Beauty, only to fhew their own good Breeding and Parts. Thefe fuperficial Gentlemen wear their

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Understandings like their Cloaths, always fet and formal, and would no more Talk than Drefs out of Fashion.

* Most Men in their News, are like Beaux in their Diet, the worft is welcom whilft 'tis fresh and fcarce, and the beft is not worth a Farthing when it has been blown upon; and commonly they fare like Beaux, are fond of it whilft 'tis young and Infipid, and neglect it when 'tis grown up to its full and true Relish.

A Country Squire.

A Country Squire is one whofe Ancestors have been Wife and Provident, and rais'd an Eftate by their Ingenuity and Induftry, and given their Pofterity after 'em Means and leafure to be Fools. He is generally fent to School in his Minority, aud having made the ufual Tour of Latin and Greek Authors, at Sixteen or Seventeen Years of Age, he is call'd home to be made a Gentleman; as foon as he has fhaken off the Awe of the Birch, and begins to feel himself at Liberty, he confiders that he is now Learned enough, (and commonly his Friends are wife enough to be of his Opinion) and thinks it high time to fhake off the barbarous Acquaintance he contracted with thofe crabbed, vexatious, obfcure Fellows, that gave him fo much trouble and fmart at School. He has fuch a fear of Pedantry always before his Eyes, that he accounts it a Scandal to his Gentility to talk Senfe, and write true English; and

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has fuch a contemptible Notion of his paft Education, that he thinks the Roman Poets good for nothing but for Boys to Cap Verfes. Thefe Pru- dent Sentiments being fix'd in his Mind, his Converfation for fome Years fucceeding, is wholly taken up by his Horfes, Dogs, and Hawks, and the more fenfelefs Animals that tend 'em. His Groom, his Huntfman, and his Falconer, are his Tutors, and his walk is from the Stable to the Dog-kennel, and the Reverse of it. His Diverfion is Drudgery, and his highest Satisfaction is when he is moft Tir'd. He wearies you in the Morning with his Sport, in the Afternoon with the Noife, Repetition, and Drink, and the whole day with Fatigue and Confufion. His Entertainment is ftale Beer, and the History of his Dogs and Horses, in which he gives you the Pedigree of every one, with all the exactness of a Welch-Herald. And if you be very much in his good Graces, 'tis odds but he makes you the Complement of a Puppy of one of his Favourite Bitches, which you must take with abundance of acknowledgements of his Civility, or elfe he takes you for a ftupid ill-bred Fellow. He is very conftant at all Clubs and Meetings of the Country Gentlemen, where he will fuffer nothing to be talk'd or heard of, but his Jades, Currs, and Kites, and is leaft Impertinent when moft Drunk. His grand Bufinefs is, to make an Affignation for a Horfe-Race, or a Hunting-Match; and nothing difcompofes him fo much as a Disappointment in either. He is the Terror of all the Deer and Poultry Stealers in the Neighbourhood, and is fo implacable a Perfecutor of Poachers, that he keeps a Register of all the Dogs and Guns in the Hundred. Short Pots and unjuftifiable Dogs and Nets,

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furnish him with fufficient Matter of Prefentments, to carry him once a Quarter to the Seffions, where he fays little, Eats and Drinks much, and after Dinner, Hunts over the last Chafe, and fo Rides Worshipfully Drunk home again. If he happen to live near any little Borough or Corporation, that fends Burgeffes to Parliament, he may become Ambitious, and fue for the Honour of being made their Reprefentative. Henceforward he grows Popular, Bows to and Treats the Mobb all round him; and whether there be any in his Difcourfe, there is good Sense in his Kitchin and his Cellar, which is more agreeable and edifying. If he be fo happy as to out-top his Competitor, and drink his Neighbours into an Opinion of his Sobriety, he is chofen, and up he comes to that Honourable Affembly, where he fhews his Wifdom beft by his Silence, and ferves his Country moft in his Abfence.

Advice, Counsel.

To retract or mend a Fault at the Admonition of a Friend, hurts your Credit or Liberty no more, than if you had grown Wifer upon your own Thought. For 'tis ftill your own Judgment and Temper, which makes you fee your Mistake, and willing to retrieve it.

Men give nothing fo liberally as Counfel.

Nothing in the World is fo unfincere, as the asking and receiving of Advice. He that asks it, feems to yield a refpectful deference to the Opinion of his Friend, and all the while only defigns to

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